Wake up call

by hozhijie

it’s 620am now and I’m still on my bed. No, I did not just wake up; I’m trying to get my sleep amid the worries that keep spiralling in my head. im supposed to attend a class later but I’ve decided to give it a miss for various reasons. the least of it would be my lack of sleep. does it consider a personal matter if i choose to skip it as I do not want to leverage on my group’s efforts to score in that class activity? i do not want to leech and be recognised for something i do not contribute positively too. to be frank, i regret painfully for not getting my work done dutifully on time, causing me to be slowed by a few weeks of work behind the schedule. there’s a cost to pay, trust to be the intangible one and that 3% to be the tangible one. i loathe my discipline.


since i no longer attend the class, maybe i can meet up with them for the USS ride. but patronising the place is equivalent to feeding my guilt and shame. what kind of punishment is that? or maybe I should just spend my time away in the pool of exhilaration without fretting over stuff like this. im supposed to work too u know? it’s coz of my schoolwork then i do not need to help my boss out. im really dismayed at how I handle stuff these days. Lord, it’s been long since i mentioned You here. all along i have kept a low profile on our relationship but I know i can’t conquer all these without You. help me out once again, won’t You?