by hozhijie

BP: November W II
101115; 2140; outram station; Back to Life

Booking in now after a long eight days of staying at home ever since I got my final two wisdom teeth extracted last Tuesday. I was pretty surprised that the dentist gave me a week’s worth of mc when I merely expected 3-5 days. That saved me the dilemma of whether to take off on Monday which was a half day. I’m glad that my oral condition has almost fully recovered with no existing pain. I just got to have my stitches removed this Thursday.

It has been a pretty lackadaisical hiatus spent mostly at home in front of my com playing the same old game all over again. My body clock is also quite badly screwed up as I slept as late as 4am every night.. Got the chance to play my clarinet after not touching it since the July concert. My wounds started hurting at the start but subsided gradually as I played on. The pieces for the January don’t look friendly at all although they are exciting ones. Ten practices left to to and I wonder if I could pick my skills and discipline up to conquer this performance better than the former one.

Also got the chance to taste my favourite crab once again but it was a disappointment and my first mouthful of it could already correctly determine it’s from a Chinese stall instead of a preferred zhechar stall. Caught James Bond’s movies too and I’m in love with the theme songs.

Noticed how I didn’t mention any visit to the church…apart from the net outreach on Friday, I haven gone for services once again. It’s a bad habit. I don’t call it backsliding. I thought I was more passionate than this. Saturdays used to be more exciting too. What has changed? The people or me? Someone mentioned that we have been in the church for half a decade already and yet we haven’t gotten any leadership post. It’s quite a pity isn’t it? Is spiritual growth determined merely by the appointment we own in church or is it an invisible element that’s to be felt? Of course, it’s right to say that our level of faith is best shown by the actions we commit, which includes a dedicated attendance in classes, services and ministry. Perhaps I’m just weak in this one. God, please grant me the desire to lead a pleasing lifestyle of worship.

I’m not sure why is there a perpetual fear in me to embrace booking in. My instinct always tells me that bad news are always coming my way and he is right for the past few weeks. Many people at this stage of service would jokingly flaunt about how close their best before date is approaching. I dare not to do that. Solely because there’s this irrational worry in me that I will not make it at all, ascribing to potential incidents like getting charged or extras as such. Why can’t I just leave peacefully?

There’s navex tomorrow. I just hope I can turn in early tonight and pull through the exercise. Need a haircut soon too.
2202; JE station