Deject & Reject

by hozhijie

271015; 2237; Reject & Deject 
had a strong urge to head home tonight for nights out to evade the place of mental torture despite having stayed there for barely two days. Whilst today was mundane with only gym in the morning and I also manage to pacify my sleepiness till the late afternoon, for some particular reasons I’m pretty angsty. In the morning, I unintentionally overheard a conversation which concluded with a realisation to me that why must believers be the culprits here all the time? It’s culprits to them but victims to me. Gossips pervade our culture and usually I don’t hold tightly to them. This time I’m affected as I thought I was a culprit and a victim for a few times too in the past. It isn’t pleasant to hear others talking unpleasant things about a fellow brother in Christ of mine. It reminded me of a time I questioned God deeply on this spiritual conundrum – that the faithful ones always tended to suffer the most.
On a separate issue, something made me feel like I was always least looked up to by my superiors these two years.. I might be overthinking but the shift in attitude and tone was alarming. To be honest, I lost respect for myself at times too. Perhaps I should not worry too much and really dedicate myself wholeheartedly to living a lifestyle of worship for Him. 10 more stops to go.

There is none like You