Everything’s Great

by hozhijie

BP: August W II
130815; 1720; everything’s great 

Otw to camp now after an entire day spent in the range. Everything was great today except for how I

– had to wake at in an unearthly hour in the morning with only 4 hours of sleep

– involuntarily caused myself into more inconvenience by asking things with a kind motive, 

– engaged in a series of duties with minimum and unfair amount of break which didn’t end until everything 

– fared badly for my shooting and the test is coming up in a few days’ time

– got teased again when I already asked the person to stop name-calling me as I’m not comfortable with it

– had to visit the toilet for at least 10 times today for unknown reasons

– had to be in conflict to fight for my nature of being sentimental in getting back what originally belonged to mine instead of merely taking back the things that looked the same

– had to visit the place which brought back nightmarish memories that were triggered 4 months 28 days ago. 

Yup. Everything was great except for everything aforementioned which might be everything. Nonetheless, today I spoke to person X whom I haven really chatted for a substantial period of time about the many prevailing issues in the past and present. I explained my past predicament and current resolve. While it’s nice to be able to have a mature yet casual form of catching up as we waited for others to finish shooting, it’s kinda poignant how he seemed to rebuke many things that I mentioned in an attempt to present his point of view. On my part I occasionally agreed with the points he made yet I offered my stand concurrently. Still, at least some understanding is forged.

I also don’t understand why my PC seemingly wanted to keep his subordinates busy all the time. Must we always be preoccupied with some tasks to look like we are busy and maximising the opportunity the moment presented to us? The balance appears to be disproportional now. I believe he indubitably has good intentions yet it may be overactualised at times. Perhaps that’s one reason why I felt so sian to carry out extra work today although my attempt to do it thereafter is of my best effort.

To be honest, some things really improve tremendously this week in terms of the type of atmosphere we inhabit. But other aspects seem to deteriorate like communication with some others. I told person X that I hope to leave this place feeling meaningful and convinced that a form of camaraderie has been generated that’s sustaining. He seemed to get my underlying points as he looked into the prevailing issues we faced.

Reaching camp now. Can’t wait to rest.