June Weak IV

by hozhijie


Almost melted


on the train


happy 21st Sherilyn! hope u have had an extraordinary night!


look at the one who is trying to pose like a mode but failed terribly


NET outreach bowling and dinnering!


Met Luke coincidentally at Tampines. gonna catch up soon !


The run made me feel worse   


bonchon…pretty worth it


shouldn’t have bought it…

 June W IV
280615; 2151
This fateful week, my health took a toll on me. It’s been ages since I have had a fever. When it strikes, the feeling makes me yikes terribly.
It started on Monday morning where I had a headache but didn’t get to rest until early noon due to some annoying affairs. This is also a week where my “excused uniform” status officially ends. I was sorting out my number four that I hadn’t worn for months before heading to lunch. Suddenly, I exploded with incessant number of sneezes which lasted shockingly for the entire day intermittently. I felt like I might have inhaled a mountain of dust mites (not just dust) earlier on. The feeling was oddly uncomfortable. Before I turned in at night, I felt a little feverish and then took my temperature that was recorded 37.1, followed by consuming two pills of panadol in hope to contain it.
When I woke up on Tuesday morning, the most horrendous feeling blasted through me. I took my temperature and it reached 37.6. I then went down to the medical centre which I had to visit anyway for my dental appointment. While waiting for my dentist, I registered myself to see the doctor too. Diagnosis of my oral condition included some minor extraction and a surgery to remove my wisdom teeth in months to come. It didn’t take very long for me to see the doctor after my dental appointment. Repeated paragraph two to him and was given some medication and a day of light duties instead of two as I asked for a shortened duration since there’s route march the next day and I would love to take part if I could recover by then. I then went to the mess to have my lunch. It’s a painful meal as I forced myself to swallow the food down under such nauseated condition. I haven felt that bad for so long and death felt like a better state than then.
Thereafter I rested in bunk till mid-afternoon to no avail. My temperature soared up to 38.1 and I started to feel weaker. Managed to book out for my off around 1630. I was really hoping that some Good Samaritans may give me a ride out. After walking for less than 5 minutes, a car stopped by me and asked if I could direct them to the gate while they drove me along. I was feeling so relieved then. It felt God-given.
Went to a food court to grab my dinner. Shoved it down amid my lack of appetite and enhanced nauseated state. The train ride back home was somewhat an embarrassing yet disappointing one. When I got on the train at JE, I put on my fever pad as I really couldn’t bear it anymore. Of course, it incited some strange stares but I was too lethargic to even bother about them. The disappointment was aroused by the indifference of the passengers who sat in front me while I was standing there in an infirm condition. Blowing my nose and taking the temperature did nothing to capture their compassion too. I felt so helpless then.
Upon returning home, I rested on my bed for nearly an hour with an ice pad lingering on my forehead. My sister helped out a bit. I felt much better before leaving my house to attend Sherilyn’s 21st birthday. The journey there was greeted by a stranger of unruly behaviour on the train. He could have said excuse me or sorry to gesture to others to give way to him yet he would rather tap and stare at me like I have murdered someone.
It was about 2100 when I finally reached the rented bungalow. Managed to witness her cake slicing and it’s great to see unfamiliar faces again. Left the place about 2230 and her uncle drove some of us back to the station. Took the train with Carolyn and Deborah but I didn’t go home but headed to TTSH instead to review my condition. I arrived there at 2330 and only managed to leave the place near 0300 in the wee hour. The wait there was awful. Aching all over my lower back but couldn’t get to rest lying down, feeling cold but everywhere else was cold too, and I have to keep visiting the toilet to sneeze my nose.
I tested myself for dengue and thank God it’s negative. Got three days MC until Friday. Spent the entire sick leave on my bed at home mostly apart from going down to get my meals. Felt a lot better by Friday.
Weekends were kinda boring. Met Melwin on Saturday at Tampines to grab my late lunch before attending service. When we arrived at my church building, I wondered why was the area so desolate, making me doubt if there was really service then. I called my church mates and realised there wasn’t service that night…to my aghast. Both of us were struck speechless and made an impromptu plan to catch Terminator. Was supposed to catch that show together with Alika but we just went ahead with it. Ended about 2100 and had Ajisen for dinner. I was rather disturbed by how some people really love to comment on everything they see. Should have kept my cool and not stare at the strangers who remarked though.
Sunday was a waste once again. I couldn’t be able to sleep until 0600 in the morning? Missed service and practice again. Remorse and disappointment. Could have planned things more productively and meaningfully but I failed yet again. I really hope to change. Woke up in mid afternoon and made an impromptu plan to visit Bugis. Had Bonchon for lunch/dinner and caught a glimpse of a yoyo competition at a set up stage there. Bought some apparels at P&B too and regretted buying one of them. Reached home about 1900. Loafing on my bed and left home about 2130.
July onwards is gonna be a really hectic period with the combat fitness training kicking off. I have to embrace my fear of the apex ladder while we attempt to do the VOC for a few times before the test. There are many other personal limitations I reluctantly wish to overcome. Honestly I’m not anticipating for the months ahead. I just can’t wait to end it all.
I also pray that I will honour Him in everything that I do. Let me understand the significance of true repentance. I sometimes wonder if my heart is hardened as feelings are not readily felt as it should be. Gonna commit everything in His faithful hand.